#WellnessWednesday Video Tip: How to say no to “friend requests” (aka Assertiveness for Moms)

How many of you have ever been asked to volunteer for a PTO event that you have absolutely no interest in volunteering for?

Or perhaps you’ve been pressured by a fellow mom to set up a playdate with her child, who happens to be the class bully?

Or maybe you’ve been coerced into buying flowery leggings or anti-aging cosmetics that a high school friend is selling on Facebook?

Or all of the above?

As moms, we get bombarded with friend requests. Many of the moms with whom I work feel compelled to say “yes” to all of these requests, fearing that if they don’t, they’ll upset their friends (or incur the wrath of the PTO President).

But here’s the thing. There are only so many hours in a day (and dollars in a bank account). If we say “yes” to everything, we deplete our energy and finances. We take time away from ourselves—and as any of you who follow Dr. CBT Mom know, I am a staunch proponent of moms taking time out each day for self-care. Doing so makes us better mothers.

I’m not saying that you should say “no” to everything. What I’m suggesting is that you be strategic about what you say “yes” to. Volunteer for those PTO events that interest you, buy the cosmetics that you actually want, and agree to the playdates with kids that your child actually wants to hang out with.

And you can also compromise. If, for example, you don’t want to repeatedly say “no” to a playdate request, why not set up a group playdate with a few other kids, so that your child isn’t forced to spend one-on-one time with a child that he/she perceives to be a bully?

It is OK—and actually important—to say “no” at times. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of assertiveness for moms.

Try saying “no,” and let me know how it goes! Please share your story in the “comments” section.

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I’m Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco, Ph.D., aka DrCBTMom. DrCBTMom.com combines the expert advice of a self-help book with the warmth and readability of a mommy blog.
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