When Mother’s Day is frustrating

Mother’s Day frustrates me.

This is because, inevitably, I continue to play the mom role: I am in charge of planning for a holiday that is ostensibly honoring me. I am the one remembering to make the brunch reservation weeks in advance and coordinating flower orders for my own mother and mother-in-law and making sure my boys’ “fancies” are clean and ready for Sunday.

I’m learning this week that many of my patients are in the same boat. In theory they love a day on which they are celebrated, but in practice they are, as usual, spending the day catering to others, which feels like it defeats the purpose of the holiday.

Moms, let’s aim to do something for ourselves this Sunday. Let’s try, if we can, to delegate some of the childrearing and household-coordinating responsibilities to others (partners, extended family members) so that we can truly have a break, even if it means just a 15-minute walk or a 30-minute nap. And if we can’t delegate, let’s give our kids an extra few minutes of TV time while we do something that is genuinely for ourselves.

Self-care is always important for moms. Let’s use Mother’s Day as an excuse to start spending a little time each day doing something that’s personally meaningful and not kid-related. (More on the importance of self-care in a later post—stay tuned!)

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I’m Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco, Ph.D., aka DrCBTMom. DrCBTMom.com combines the expert advice of a self-help book with the warmth and readability of a mommy blog.
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